I'm Not Strong Enough.....but HE is!

Last week I shared about my struggle with singing. I also mentioned that God was leading me a new direction. The new direction that God is leading me is to work with the Single Mom Ministry at my church. I already work in the children's ministry and help with the Student Ministries. I facilitate our monthly Book Club and have assisted in leading our Life Group. So when God began to lay this on my heart,my first response was "Lord are you sure?!?!" I immediately began to give God all the reasons that I couldn't do it, that I didn't have enough time and that well I wasn't really the person that needed to lead......All the while God was saying - trust me....I want you to do it and I will give you what you need. Well we have had 2 meetings and formed a preliminary leadership team and are planning our first event! I am very excited about the possibilities that God has in store. Please pray that we will follow his direction and that I will do what he would have me to do.
This week I am burdened for several people in my life that are hurting. It seems that everywhere we turn there is trial and tribulation. Sometimes we wonder how we will hang on....I myself have concerns and struggles and sometimes feel that I am all alone. I am so glad that I know that I am NOT ALONE. I have Jesus and that is really all that I need!!
I heard a song a couple weeks ago and I heard it again today - I am sharing the words to encourage you and me. It is by Matthew West and called "Strong Enough". Hope it is a reminder of where our strength comes from.
"I know I'm not strong enough to be
everything that I'm supposed to be
I give up - I'm not strong enough
Hands of mercy won't you cover me
Lord right now I'm asking you to be
Strong enough - Strong enough
For the both of us"

What a weekend...

This weekend was the end of our Fall Break here in Columbia. It has been a two week break for the last several years, but this year we had a revised school schedule so it was just one week instead. Last Friday, we went to see "Courageous" - Awesome movie by the way, if you haven't seen it please do. Anyway, it was Jeff's weekend so when we were done, I dropped the boys off and had a quiet weekend. This week Zachary worked 4 hours everyday at the TRC - State Voc Rehab Traning Rehab Center. Anthony spent every afternoon at the YMCA and no big plans, vacations or trips were planned for any of us. So Thursday night during a water aerobics workout at the Y, I smelled what smelled like roasted marshmellows. Well I started thinking how good that would be and that I had a little firepit that I bought on clearance the first Fall that the boys were on our own - and never used. We had already planned to have Little Caesars Hot and Ready pizza for dinner Friday night so why not get some marshmellows and have a bonfire to end Fall Break. So that's exactly what we did. Why did we wait 3 years to do this?? It was fun. We even sang songs. It was a great start to the weekend. Saturday, we had planned to take our annual Fall pictures and Zachary's Senior pictures. We got up and left the house around 10:30am. 6 hours, 5 wardrobe changes and 8 locations later....we returned. It was a long day, but it was fun and a great memory that I am so thankful to have shared with Zachary. We got some great pictures. So many infact that I am not sure how we will choose :) Thanks to a friend from church who loaned us a previous year CHS graduation gown and cap, I had the chance to include several pics of my future grad and let me tell you - what an emotional day! It is hard for me to believe that Zachary will graduate in just 7 months! We rounded off the weekend with church - great Sunday School, an awesome worship service and message from Pastor Mark. Then we had Zachary's baseball game and a quiet evening at home. As I prepare for another busy week with work, school, meetings, church and every day life, I pause to thank God that he is in control and he loves me. I pray for a sweet family that is hurting. I seek that God will form me to allow him to fit me like a glove - a tailormade garment that I wear to honor him...... God is truly good.... I have shared a few pics from the weekend and a video of Zachary's Senior pics.

Will Shania find her voice again? Why not??

Shania Twain recently had a reality show. She has been through some personal issues (her husband left her for her best friend) and she never really dealt with the death of her parents when she was a child. Due to all of this she recently has stopped singing and has felt a strain on her voice. She went on a cross country journey to try and once again "find her voice". Now I am definately not Shania Twain, but have felt a bit of a kindred spirit to her for several reasons. Over the last several years, I have somewhat lost my voice. I sang for years in church and for other gatherings, but recently I have felt like I lost my voice. Singing has always been my refuge, I still sang in the car, with the kids, occassionally at my mom and dad's church, but something was just not the same. I know that I have not used it and lost some of it. But lately I have felt that God was urging me to start singing again. Now I don't know what that means but tonight was Song/Writer's night for our Student Ministries. For the last several (we have them every 3-4 months) I have felt that God was telling me to sing. I have prepared several times, but just couldn't do it. Even this time, it seemed that even though I said I would sing, I was trying to find a way out. I prayed this afternoon and asked God to let me find my voice. When I listened to myself as I practiced, it just sounded so strained and forced and I could hear Satan whisper - you will never be able to do it again.....Right up until the moment that they called my name, I felt like I couldnt do it. But I knew that no matter what happened, I HAD to do it.....Back to Shania, she saw doctors and therapists and new age gerus and then Lionel Richie asked her to sing a duet on a remake of "Endless Love". She was nervous and scared and after several attempts felt like she couldnt't do it. She just sang and when the time came, she BELTED it out and sounded just as good as she always did. As I watched it I cried, joy for her and hope for me....She had regained her confidence, even if just for that one moment, That gave her the confidence to try again and continue trying. Well tonight, I had my version of the "Lionel Richie Momemt" I was so scared and while it may not have been my best performance, I DID IT! I sang, there were technical difficulties and my voice was shaky, but I did it! I hope that God was honored and I hope that I can do it again. So will Shania - find her voice again? I hope so and I hope that Jodi has too.

10 months already????

WOW 10 months ago today, I blogged my last blog! Where did the time go??? Not that nothing "blog worthy has happened just that somehow I lost my motivation to blog. I was thinking today that we were getting close to Nov and 30 days of thankful and realized that after last year's great start to blogging...well I just quit. So I am going to try again. I feel like I have lots of things to share - even if no one wants to listen :) Anyway, here is a small synopsis on my life over the last 10 months....
*I AM AN AUNT to a beautiful baby girl - Jules Mary Elizabeth. She was 10 months old yesterday. She is a wonderful beautiful strong little girl who has changed all of our lives. God has BIG plans for her!
*My son turned 18 - wow not only that he started his Senior year and has a job - Who knew that little Zachary would grow up so fast!
*My other son is almost 16 and wants to drive and have a job - he just started his sophomore year - how did my baby get so bog???
*I have lost 44.7 pounds since Feb 23 and a total of 164 since I began a weight loss journey in 2006
*God has recently shown me that he wants to use me in a new direction and I am waiting to see where that will take me (stay turned for details :) )
*God has been faithful and treated me better than I deserve
*I turned 44 this year - of all the age "milestones" among my family this year this seems insignificant, but I still think of myself as 28 so almost mid-40's seems a bit strange
*Fall is here - my favorite season....leading into my favorite Holidays. I look forward to a Photo shoot this weekend. Senior pics for Zachary and family pics for the boys.

Anyway there it is in a nutshell...hope to share more frequent "windows into my world" in the future.

Thanks for reading....or not...either way I have some thoughts that I need to share:)