Friday, November 5, 2010

Pray for me as I pray for you . . . .

"One of the most comforting things for hurting parents is discovering there are hundreds of other parents out there who have gone through the same painful struggles - and survived!" Barbara Johnson

I feel like so many of my posts have been serious. Last night while I was listening to Chonda Pierce, I thought - why can't I be funny??? Oh well I guess we each have our gifts . . .or whatever I have :)

I saw this quote this morning as I got to work and I thought WOW - I have so many friends that are burdened for their children. Whether it be a lost child that they desperately pray will come to Jesus, a sick child that they wish they could make well. Maybe a child who is involved in a bad relationship or facing separation or divorce. Maybe your child is battling addiction, out of work, struggling in school, battling a disease, dealing with depression or mental illness. Maybe they exhibit bad behavior and you are at the end of your rope on how to help them........if this is you let me write the above quote again:
"One of the most comforting things for hurting parents is discovering there are hundreds of other parents out there who have gone through the sames painful struggles - and survived!"

God sometimes chooses to take away the hurt . . .sometimes he chooses to give you the strength to walk through it.

As many of you know, Anthony is Bi-Polar. That coupled with several other disorders and many other initials, sometimes feels like a big steaming pile . . .if you know what I mean. He is really struggling right now. He is, as they say, cycling and it can be very difficult for him - and for others around him. His sleep is sporadic at best, his moods - oh don't let me go there - his behavior - at times out of control. He can be flying high one minute and crashed in depression or aggression the next. It is like a roller coaster for me - I cannot imagine what it is like for him!!

Today, I am a hurting parent, because my child is hurting. Granted some is self inflicted, by bad choices, but for the most part it is from a mental illness that he did nothing to choose. In fact, what breaks my heart the most is the MANY, MANY, MANY times I have heard him ask God to please take this from him and make him well. I always try to tell him that God has big plans for him and is going to use this someday.

As I mentioned in an earlier post, today is Anthony's birthday. I posted that as my status today on facebook and Pastor Tonya (my dear friend Tonya) wrote a comment. "Happy Birthday Anthony, God has big plans for you" That meant the world to me. She, all too well, has seen Anthony at his best and near his worst. I am so thankful that she can still the beautiful soul that God does have big plans for.

Today, I am a hurting parent because my sweet Zachary has a debilitating disease that we watched take his brother's life. I see his fear. I panic every time he stumbles or struggles to swallow. I ask God everyday to keep him safe and protect him. To allow him to live a relatively healthy life. To live to be an adult. Zachary has asked me several times why God allowed this to happen. I truly do not have an answer. I must confess, I have asked the same thing myself. The only conclusion that I can come up with is that God is God. He never says that we will understand, only that he will work all things to our good . . .if we love him.

So today, I am loving God, loving my boys and praying for you. If you are a hurting parent, I am praying that like the "hundreds of other parents out there" will will survive. Sometimes broken or battered - but SURVIVE.....

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